|
To ditch the "new, labour-saving" computer system, abolish use of email, and return to a paper-based office
To use the money saved on IT support to purchase set of really nice old-fashioned pens and desk diary
To believe that at least one person in the Housing Benefit Department knows what they are doing
Never admit to knowing anything about the internal workings of a) washing machines b) lawnmowers, c) toilets
To remember to feed the office cat at least twice a week
Never to lose your rag when a landlord tells you that he wants £750 a
month for a pokey flat that is clearly worth only half that and even
then only to someone who is sufficiently deaf not to hear the traffic
roar from the by-pass and sufficiently "animal friendly" not to mind
sharing accommodation with a family of rodents
To believe at least one person who tells you that the cheque is in the post
|
To invent a remote control device to facilitate the unblocking of
sinks, drains, toilets and other troublesome, foul-smelling receptacles
(and retire on the proceeds obtained from selling patent)
To seek out a local, professional, multi-talented tradesperson (aka
jack of all trades) who will drop all other commitments to be at your
beck and call and who will not demand an arm or a leg (nor any
significant monetary reward) for performance of these duties
To cut down stress and thereby reduce consumption of company
cigarettes/booze/chocolate biscuits/caffeine/illegal substances*, and,
in the process, to increase profit/reduce loss*
(*delete as appropriate)
To put up a notice outside the office saying "No Reps (especially Yellow Pages Reps)"
To take a long holiday somewhere hot and sunny "accidentally"
forgetting to pack your mobile/kids/ spouse/return ticket
* (*delete as appropriate)
|
